Answers to your questions: How do I deal with my lust?

How do I deal with my lust?

Disclaimer: This is a really big area and I've tried to keep this one short and helpful. I hope it is both.

     1 Corinthians 6:18 urges is to flee sexual immorality. That is, get yourself away from the source or pattern of temptation that is leading you to long for and express such sin. Flee to prayer, flee to the support of your Christian brothers and sisters, flee from situations where you know you’ll be tempted and where you know you’ve failed before.
     However the Bible also suggests that we don’t just run away from our problems, but that we have our thinking and motives changed so we pursue the things of the kingdom. I can think of three key motivating truths that help us overcome and put to death sin in our lives. The New Testament rarely urges us to a change in behaviour and thinking without being powerfully grounded in at least one of these…
    1. Our thankfulness is view of the Cross. Growing in our understanding and appreciation of what Christ has done to sin in his death has a profound affect upon our behaviour. In view of his mercy, I actually begin to want to live in honour and service of him. This is such a watershed moment for anyone and at times even those whose life was engrossed in sin can’t wait to be rid of it…out of joyful thanks to the Lord. 

     In our struggles with sin, to a certain degree at least we have not comprehended enough the wonder of the Cross. The cross helps me to hate sin and long to be ruthless with it, but at the same time the cross protects me from self-hatred…because Christ loved me so much. Being overwhelmed with thanks is about the ultimate remedy for new life and freedom, even from habitual and resilient sin in your life.

     2. Our identity in Christ. This argument was employed by Paul in 1 Cor.5:6-8 where Paul reminds the Corinthians that Christ's sacrificial work changes completely our status and identity before God. To be ‘in Christ’ is to have a new heavenly destiny already secured. Even though Paul is seeking to correct terrible sin in Corinth, he appeals to who Christ has made them to be in order to motivate them to change. He does not appeal to the 10 Commandments to correct and rebuke them some new Christian morality list, he actually appeals to their unity with Christ who was sacrificed for them. 

     So he primarily inspires at this crucial point. He gives them a higher view of their value and significance and destiny. Our identity in Christ reminds us that in God’s eyes we are not locked in sin but belonging to Jesus for his service. When we realise more and more that our old identity was changed by one so awesome as Christ, our desire to ‘celebrate’ the reality of who we are in God begins to change and recalibrate our motives and desires.

     3. The hope of the future. The hope of heaven is perhaps the least appreciated of these three. The fact that heaven is our home and that joy and wonder everlasting is on offer; the fact that our Lord and saviour will celebrate his reign with us; the fact that sin and its effects will not be seen or experienced anymore is another powerful motivator for change. If God is moving history to a certain outcome, then there should be an excitement and longing for that outcome. Knowing my future and destiny inspires and motivates especially through trial and suffering and even great temptation. If you read passages like Romans 8 (especially after reading chapters 6-7) you see how glorious the future is and how God's Spirit draws us with great expectation to the time when God's plans are fully realised. 

     I should say also that to struggle and fight with sin is actually the normal Christian experience. None of us will reach perfection this side of heaven, but God has given us his Holy Spirit to keep fighting on (see Galatians 5:16-26). 

     Further as we read in 1 Cor.10:13 God remains faithful and does not let us be tempted beyond what we can bear. He provides a way of escape for us, even as we are seriously considering sinning against him. How kind he is?! 

Answers to your questions: What is lust?

What is lust? Is it lustful only if you express it sexually?
The word lust is only used in the ESV translation 10 times (Psa. 68:30 ; Prov. 11:6 ; Is. 57:5 ; Jer. 2:24 ; Ezek. 16:36 ; Ezek. 23:8 ; Ezek. 23:11; Ezek. 23:17 ; 1Th. 4:5 ; 2Pet. 2:10) and is normally associated with the strong desire for sexual immorality. Indeed wayward desire is so often at the heart of our problems. 

Appropriate desire and the fulfilment of that desire is actually a wonderful thing. Desiring what benefits others and what promotes the cause of the gospel is actually a powerful work of the gospel in our lives. All of us naturally crave for and seek after the things we believe will bring us happiness, security and blessing. The strength of desire to secure these can lead us to terrible sin and violence against our neighbour. 

Lust is fundamentally self serving and ultimately idolatrous. The gospel reorientates our desires so we wish to please God and others. Indeed we actually want to be with God and be more like God the more we are shown how supreme Jesus is. So in changing what we live for, so will a change occur in what we long for and desire.

Finding someone very attractive is not lust. Nor even is finding yourself ‘aroused’. This is natural and if you never find yourself aroused (I speak especially, though not exclusively to the guys here), then maybe you need to go and see a doctor! 

Lust is desire which seeks to fantasise and act upon such attraction. It is to covet a person who is not yours in order to gratify yourself. Lust is always disappointing. It is desire seeking to find fulfilment in the wrong place and the instant gratification only adds to further frustration and ironically fuels more lust to compensate.